


National Anthem

by queenofdeansbooty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 08:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14930990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofdeansbooty/pseuds/queenofdeansbooty
Summary: You reflect on your life with Dean Winchester, remembering him as the wonderful man you knew.





	National Anthem

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the song National Anthem by Lana Del Rey. Only the part at the end of the song where she's talking about President Kennedy but obviously this is about Dean. I would recommend you listen to the song as you read it. The part it starts on is at 5 minutes and 30 seconds.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxDdEPED0h8

It’s been twenty years since the love of your life died. It’s been twenty years since you held his bloody body, begging to the world, to Go, to whoever was listening to not let this man die. It’s been twenty years and you’ve been all alone since.

Sam was dead, Castiel was dead, everyone you knew was dead. You stopped hunting the minute Dean died, living your life as normally as possible. You didn’t actively look for hunts and if they came to you, you killed whatever it was and continued to live.

But now, you were old. You were weak. You didn’t have the ability to kill things anymore. People around you died but there was nothing you could do about it. All you could do now is sit here and think about your life with Dean, the life you once lived.

> _And I remember when I met him.  
>  It was so clear that he was the only one for me.  
> We both knew right away._

When you met Dean, it was all fireworks and passion. You were meant to be a one night stand but it ended up being more, whether he liked it or not. You’ve had a lot of one night stands in your life but you don’t have the amount of passion you had with Dean and have it not meant something.

You knew he was the one for you whether or not either one of you wanted it. We were each other’s and you were so glad you stuck around after that night.

> _And as the years went on things got more difficult,  
>  We were faced with more challenges._

You knew there would be complications with your relationship. Creatures and people would get in between you, trying to break you apart but nothing would work. You loved Dean too much to let that happen.

Then, in your hunting life, things got difficult. A lot of people died, Lucifer was free to roam the earth, Crowley was always a pain in the ass and there was always something new every day, never giving you, Sam or Dean a break to relax or to compose yourself.

It was like life expected you to be okay with this.

> _I begged him to stay,  
>  Tried to remember what we had in the beginning._

You remember the last hunt he ever went on. You begged him to stay home, knowing it was all a trap but he went anyways, thinking he could outsmart a bunch of demons. You got there too late, he was bleeding out but you couldn’t stop it. Sam was too late and Castiel never showed up.

He died in your arms and you wished that he had listened to you.

> _He was charismatic, magnetic, electric, and everybody knew him_  
>  When he walked in every woman’s head turned.  
> Everyone stood up to talk to him.  
> He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself.  
> I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him.

He was the most amazing man you could have ever known. Passion followed in his footsteps, never letting a moment between the two of you to be dull. You were under his spell and you wished it could have lasted longer.

Everyone knew Dean Winchester and there wasn’t a day that he wasn’t approached. It was always another hunter, asking him about his kills, women who wanted to get with him, monsters who feared him when he walked into a room. He was always the center of attention.

He held this confidence that no one else could, he was always the charmer, knowing exactly what he was doing. You knew he struggled with himself internally, always passing up opportunities that were offered, always doing the right thing or the good thing to somehow justify himself.

He was an amazing man and it’s a shame that he was taken from you at such an early age.

> _And in that way, I understood him._  
>  And I loved him,   
> I loved him,   
> I loved him,   
> I loved him.

There was never a moment you weren’t thinking about Dean. You still had his car but you never drove it. You still had his clothes but you never wore them. Too many memories that would surface and suffocate you.

You loved him with all your heart and he knew it. Sam knew it. Castiel knew it, everyone knew it.

> _And I still love him,  
>  I love him._

“I love him…” Those were your last words. You died inside the Impala, the scent of Dean still lingering in there. You were finally happy in that moment, your soul finally being free.


End file.
